Nadot's Words: April 2008

Saturday 19 April 2008

3 paragraphs...ok..?!?!..huhuhu

I stared at the screen of my laptop, thinking of something to post on my blog. I was blanked. Nothing really came into my mind. I stared again...and again...and again...Still, I was blanked.

I took a look at the first page of my blog. Most of the recent posts were on sad thoughts, emotional stuff, hatred, and feeling down. Yup, there were few on happy thoughts and happy moments, but I never thought I am this pathetic...huhuhu

So, now, I'm typing this, thinking to myself, that even if my mind still blank, I already have 3 paragraphs for this post. And i'm also currently thinking, that I should stop writing and publish this post even I didn't say anything in particular..hohoho...Again, at least, I have 3 paragraphs (Igt senang ke?..hehe)..

Enuff said.. :D

Tuesday 15 April 2008

Memoirs of a musical box...

"Please play a piece of the piano for me" - written on top of the musical box

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I remember when I was 13 years old, when I first started my life away from home (away la sangat bile sekolah less than 1 km je dr rumah and I can even see my house’s rooftop from my classroom) – tp still boarding school eh, and can only balik rumah once in a fortnight.

Anyway, on one weekend when we were allowed to balik bermalam for the first or 2^nd time after the orientation week, I went to a photo shop with my mom to take a picture of me – passport size for all those uncountable forms that should be filled in. It was a small shop in Tmn Bukit Maluri (it’s still there), and other than picture frames and photo albums, they sold musical boxes as well – with different designs and melodies.

While my mom was paying for my passport size photos, I took a look at those musical boxes and heard each of their melodies and I was very captivated by a piano-shape musical box and its melodies – which had also been played by a piano. The price was around RM30-40 which for me that time, was quite expensive to be given to a 13 yr old girl whom might not take a good care of it.

I asked my mom for the musical box, and she said, it was expensive and she did not have enough money that time. I was a bit disappointed, but there was nothing I can do as I had no money myself. If I’m not mistaken, that was on Saturday, so on the next day, my parents sent me back to the hostel.

The following weekend, my mom came to visit me in hostel. And like the usual happy ending stories, - she bought me the musical box. I can’t remember exactly what happened that day, but I remember, I waited for my mom to come, then she gave me a box. I was very happy as I opened the box knowing that it was the piano inside it and played it a few times before I kept it back in its box.

And since then, I took it with me everywhere (not everywhere as in I put it in my bag or in my pocket everywhere I went but to new places like when I entered matriculation and first degree). And now, after more than 11 years, it still stands tall (short is more like it) in front of me on my study desk here in Scotland.

I love the musical box so much, and I love my mom even more (infinity times more than I love the musical box…huhu).

Sunday 13 April 2008

~Emo 3~

I think by now, everyone knows that I'm a very very very emotional person. I tried, honestly, I really did try not to let myself be controlled by emotion. But again, for the umpteenth times, I failed.

I tried to ignore their presence. I tried to act as if they were not there. But i feel they are everywhere. And whenever I tried to have a good time, they are there!!

Can't they just...GONE??

Thursday 10 April 2008

~ Emo 2 ~

"Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat." ~Henry Emerson Fosdick

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Kite benci dia..

Kite tau, 'benci' tu macam sangat tidak patut dan mungkin kite 'tak suke' je.

Tapi, sekarang ni, mmg kite susah nak bezekan antare 'benci' & 'tak suke'. jadi, sebab perasaan yang kite rase ni, sangat-sangat kuat, kite simpulkan yang kite benci la dia. Best tak kesimpulan yang kite buat? heee

Kite tak pernah sangke akan jumpe orang macam tu dalam dunia. Selame ni kite pikir, kite orang yang paling teruk. Kalau nak tau betape teruknye kite mendescribekan diri kite sendiri, silalah lawati friendster kite & tengok dekat part 'about me'. Macam tu la teruknye kite rase kite ni.

Tapi, betullah kate org, jauh perjalanan, luas pengalaman. Dan daripada perjalanan berjalan jauh ni, kite dapat jumpe bermacam-macam jenis orang. Dan buat julung-julung kalinye, kite sangat bangge, sebab akhirnye kite tahu, kite bukanle orang paling teruk yang wujud dalam dunia ni.

Betul, kite memang ade kelemahan banyak sangat, dan orang yang kite benci tu pun, ade kelemahan dan kebaikan dia jugak. Tapi kite memang cube supaye kelemahan diri yang kite ade, tak menyusahkan orang lain sampai boleh diungkit-ungkit. Biarlah keburukan yang kite ade, kite sendiri je yang susah dan tak libatkan orang lain.

Tapi kite tau, kite ade jugak selalu menyusahkan orang lain. Dan kite cube jugak untuk menebus bende tu dengan cube membuat ape yg kite boleh buat supaye orang yang kite susahkan tu dapat jugak merase senang dengan ape yang kite dah buat.

Tapi orang yang kite benci tu tak macam tu. Bagi dia, baik dia pikir tentang hal dia sendiri daripada pikir masalah remeh temeh dengan orang lain. itu bagi dia la..

Kite kalau ikutkan tak kisah dengan pemikiran macam tu. ye lar, pasal nanti mati pun kubur lain2, sorang-sorang je. Kalau ikutkan hati semua orang pun, kite rase, sape la larat nak menjage hati orang sangat. kalau boleh semua orang nak jadi selfish. Ape2 yang dibuat, yang ade, untuk diri sendiri je, bukan untuk orang lain yang takde kene mengene.

Tapi, kite tau, kite tak leh buat macam tu. Sebab kite hidup dalam satu masyarakat.Kita hidup dikelilingi manusia lain. Kite bukan hidup sorang-sorang. Jadi, tak kisah la ape keburukan dan kelemahan kite, tanggungjawab kite untuk orang sekeliling kite yang hidup dekat sangat dengan kite, mesti la kite kene laksanekan.

Tapi lagi, tak semua orang faham tu. Kite nak bagi tau orang itu, kite rase, die dah besar & sepatutnye faham la tentang konsep hidup dengan manusia lain. Kite nak bagi tau dia dan bagi contoh untuk fahamkan dia, nanti die kate kite ungkit. Jadi kite kenela diam kan aje dan bile dah lame-lame diam, mule la kite rase makin benci, kite makin emo, kite carik kawan2 satu kepale dan cakap pasal die (mengumpat le tu) dan akhirnye, kite tambahkan dose kat diri kite sendiri. Die best je hidup tanpe pedulikkan orang, kite yang pening pikir pasal dia.

Benci betul perasaan yang kite ade sekarang. Kite rase dia sesuai duduk dalam hutan supaye dia tak payah jage hati orang sekeliling. Itu pun kalau binatang tak de perasaan jugak la.

Dah le. Bertambah emo kite nanti. Dah la kite ponteng pegi zoo hari ni. Ape-ape la kite ni.Malas sungguh. huhu. Ape pun...satu bende kite tabik toing toing kat dia.. DIA PANDAI BERLAKON.. kite jeles sbb kite nak pandai berlakon jugak...huhuhu

Merepek la kite ni..hurm...

Tuesday 8 April 2008

Coco Crunch

Zoey : Boss... tuuu

Boss : Ape?! Jangan nak dalih2 lagi la...

Zoey : Tu haaa...

Boss : Ape?! Engkau ni ha?!

Zoey : Tu ha.. Coco Crunch tu..

Boss : Coco Crunch ape??..

Zoey : Staring me in the face..

Boss : (Baru faham) Coco Crunch! (Mengambil kain pelekat dan menutup coco crunch nye)

Zoey : (Gelak)

Boss : Ha..gelak..gelak..gelak.. Aku coco crunch kan kepale ko kang baru ko tau...

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Tak tahan menonton Sindarela...adoiii... Never thought to refer that 'thing' as coco crunch.

Dapat vocab baru ni..huhuhu

Ni je entry kali ni...hihihi

Later! =)

Thursday 3 April 2008

Letter for Nadot...

Dear Nadot,

It's been 7 months since you left Malaysia but I know you feel like it was only yesterday you arrived in Edinburgh Airport. You used to say that you couldn't make it there. You will miss your family so much that you can't concentrate. You won't get good friends that will understand you like you have in Malaysia. You will feel lonely without AWAK by your side and you'll be in tears all day that you think you might become thin.

But all things happened the other way round. You still miss your family, but you were able to concentrate and Alhamdulillah, you've passed all your papers. Yes, you met few selfish people, but still, you have a group of very good friends that understand you and accept you just the way you are. You still get lonely now and then without AWAK by your side, but you guys text each other everyday and you know that he'll be waiting for you and you'll be waiting for him too. And yes, you cried sometimes when you were feeling down, but you're not getting any thinner! In fact you've gained a few more kg! I'm very proud of you Nadot! I really am! =)

Within this 5 months, there are few things that you need to do and accomplished. First and the most important, is to focus on your dissertation. I know you have trouble focusing or concentrating on anything, and you have trouble waking up early in the morning, and you're also as lazy as Garfield, but, for the sake of your family, your sponsor, and yourself, do make sure that you try your best in doing your project and try to submit it early of August. Search for more journals, start writing the intro, method and literature review. Try not to do things last minute as you always did. Just believe in yourself, pray to God, and InsyaAllah, everything will turn out okay.

Secondly, cherish your friends around you. You might not see each other anymore once they are back in Malaysia and even if you still see or contact each other, you know that it won't be the same. They will have their own life and so will you. Therefore, do cherish every moment while you are here. Stop being emotional or childish and just enjoy your life there. You won't get to do some of the things you did there once you're back in Malaysia.

Next, improve your cooking skill while you are there. Yes, I know you have turned to be quite a good cook. But keep learning. Try new recipes, help K Linda in the kitchen more often, and if mesra.resipi.net server is down, there are still loads of website with great recipes.

Finally, please stop shopping too much. Why the hell do you need to buy new clothes every week? Your wardrobe looks like its going to collapse soon. You don't have enough space to keep all your clothes and you don't even wear all the things you've bought. Same goes with your novels. You keep buying new books even when you haven't finished reading those you had bought previously. And please stop visiting amazon.co.uk and ebay.co.uk everyday. You are not strong enough to resist the temptation those websites have. You keep buying stuffs that you know you will rarely or never use. Please don't answer back when I'm talking to you. ok? I'm getting a migraine just thinking how you are going to bring all your stuffs back to Malaysia.

Okay, okay. I'll stop here I guess. There are still loads of things I should have written here, but Diari AF6 Episode 25 and 26 are calling me to watch them. So, till fingers meet keyboard again..hihi. Do take care ok!.. Later!

Yours truly,

Si Comel yang baik... =)

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