My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
http://nadot.my
and update your bookmarks.

Pages

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Wahai hati...tenanglah... :|

Hati,

...tenanglah....

Jangan lah was-was mcm ni....

Mungkin bisikan syaitan..

Di dalam Al-Quran , antaranya ayat dari surah an-Nas, antara lain bermaksud: "Dari kejahatan pembisik, penghasut yang timbul tenggelam. Yang melemparkan bisikan dan hasutannya ke dalam hati manusia. (Iaitu pembisik dan penghasut) dari kalangan jin dan manusia."

Tapi...

Mungkinkah tidak?...

haishhh...

Rabhanaa afrigh 'alaynaa shabran wa tsabbit aqdaamanaa wahshurnaa 'alal qawmil kaafirina. Rabbanaa laa tuzigh quluubanaa ba'da idz hadaytana wa hablanaa min ladunka rahmatan innaka antal wahhaabu. Allaahumma tsabbitnii an azilla wahdinii an adhilla. Allahumma kamaa hulta baynii wa bayna qalbii, fahul baynii wa baynasy syaythaani wa 'amalihi. Allaahumma innii as-aluka nafsan muthma 'innatan tu'minu biliqaa'ika wa tardhaa biqadhaa'ika wa taqna'u bi'athaa'ika

Artinya : Ya Tuhan kami, curahkanlah kesabaran atas kami dan teguhkanlah pendirian kami serta tolonglah kami terhadap golongan yang kafir.

Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah kau palingkan hati kami setelah Engkau tunjuki dan berilah kami dari hadhirat-Mu rahmat karena Engkau adalah Yang Maha Pemberi.

Ya Allah kokohkanlah aku dari kemungkinan terpelesetnya iman, dan berilah aku petunjuk dari kemungkinan sesat.
Ya Allah sebagaimana Engkau telah memberi penghalang antara aku dan hatiku, maka berilah penghalang antaraku dan antara syaitan serta perbuatannya.


Ya Allah aku mohonkan pada-Mu jiwa yang tenang tenteram, yang percaya pada pertemuan dengan-Mu dan ridha atas keputusan-Mu serta merasa cukup puas dengan pemberian-Mu.

Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.... :(


Sunday, 23 August 2009

Happy Ramadhan to all... =)

I hate myself for becoming weaker as I get older. Or maybe getting older is the reason I get weaker inside.

Or maybe, I'm always this weak inside. I know that I look kinda tough and mean outside (hohoho), but inside, I'm this very-soft-at-heart kinda girl but with some streak of ego (we girl need to have that lil ego...for..whatever..huhu)

Anyway, Salam Ramadhan to all... I hope I get to khatam Quran Ramdhan kali ni and get to go to the mosque with my mom more often than 2 years ago (last yr, not in Malaysia). A bit sad because I couldn't start fasting on the 1st day of Ramadhan, tp takpe la, ade hikmah.

Harap Ramadhan kali ni dapat memberi ketenangan hati that I need most at this time. Dan berharap agar dapat diberikan petunjuk untuk menjalankan hari-hari mendatang. Amiiinnn.....

*Ramadhan mmg mensyahdukan...haishh..

Friday, 21 August 2009

A sad post...again....

Lamenyeeeeee x menulis...

sangat rase nak menulis, tapi tiade semangat...

and since i last wrote, sangat byk bende berlaku and mostly, seriously, mostly, things that made me sad and still am actually.....

I don't think I'm strong enough for this kind of test I'm going thru. I'm pretty sure I'm not strong at all, but I'm just not sure how to settle this. I might hurt those I love most as well as myself. I want to give it a try and save this and pray for the best, but I can't do it alone. I just donno what to do.... I'm scared of what might happen if I go on and if I don't. The journey has been so long that I'm afraid if i stop, everything will goes down the drain and I have to start all over again.What if I am meant to continue this journey, but I give up to soon and things will become uglier?


Maybe, things will get better if I continue this journey and try my best to reach the ultimate destination; but maybe it'll become worse and, Who am I to know??

But what can I say, either by ending or continuing this journey, some people might get hurt. I'll get hurt by doing both. Not sure of the other side though.

Sorry to babble in my first post since a long time I didn't write. I should start with a happy story I guess, but my life is not very ok right now that I couldn't think of a happy one.

So friends, could you guys please pray that I'm given enough strength to go through whatever the ending is?...thank u and luv u all... huhuhu :((

Monday, 6 July 2009

After 10 months, where's my momentum??..huhu

It has been so long since last kuar2 lepak2 smpi pagi. Before pegi wat master, since 1st yr, I considered myself a night person. Siang membuta, mlm lepak ke pagi. gi maple dgn kwn2, burak2 etc. Lps balik bljr which was almost 10 months ago, still x jmpe lg mood nak melepak-lepak lame2. rase mcm penat sgt. Balik keje, nk dok umah je jmpe mak... kalau lmbat pun, gi OU mkn2, then b4 8 dh smpi umah...

Dulu, I was always the one to initiate any meeting or reunion among us friends, or the one who assisted pnut in calling friends to meet or etc. I was also always talking on the phone, calling friends saje2 gayut sbb boring.

Tapi sekarang, i was the one who withdraw from the crowd. Jd mcm katak bwh tempurung. It's not that I don't want to be the active person anymore, but i can't seem to find my momentum just yet as if all my energies have been absorbed by the land of the scots. I just want to go home and sit on my bed with the laptop or with books in my hand or just talking to my mom.I feel tired easily nowadays (is it because I gain extra 10 kg since I came back to Msia?..huhu)


Anyway, yesterday, after few days of promises to meet, I finally met Emmy (juju). We were out since 10.30 and lepak at norsya until 2 am. Quite a long time since I last lepaking smpi pagi. It felt great to finally be able to leave my comfortable bed and room, altho it resulted in me waking up at almost 1 pm in the afternoon.

I seriously hope I'll be getting my momentum any time soon and enjoy my live as I usually did b4 I flew to UK. I miss my friends and miss the feeling of lepaking until morning. But, I can't help thinking, that maybe, I've changed. Maybe this is what I am now. maybe I don't like to lepak2 dah. But I do hope those are not the reasons cause they made me feel 100 years older.

haishhh.. :(

Friday, 19 June 2009

Petang Khamis (takde tajuk sbnrnye..huhu)

I heard gentle knocking at my bedroom's door. Mak muncul and told me to  salam ayah. Oh, I forgot. Realizing i wasn't wearing a proper attire to mengadap ayah, I told mak to wait and cpt2 sarung t-shirt and seluar.

When I walked out of my bedroom, ayah already there, right outside my room,waiting for me. "Angah buat apa?" I was just tersengih mcm kerang busuk & salam n cium tgn ayah. "Sini."Ayah pointed to his right cheek. Oh right, I forgot that he's going to Jakarta for few days, bkn out station dlm negara yg satu mlm je.So I kissed his right cheek, then his left cheek, then his forehead.

Sambil turun tangga,he said "kalau nak beli baju ayah, beli yg collar mcm ni plak..ayah ade satu ni aje." he showed the collar of the shirt he was wearing,mcm cekak musang baju melayu "oh..nak mcm tu plak..ok." Deep inside, i was feeling kinda proud because for the time being I'm his only child that cud understand both of his and mak's taste. In fact, in his suitcase, he packed along two shirts that was bought by me. I really like buying them things.


Pakcik Zuraidi already waited for ayah outside. He took the bag from ayah and put it in the  car. From my front door, I shouted "bye bye org jakarta!" He was just about to close the car's door when he heard me and I heard and saw him laughed until the car lost from our view.

Haish...tinggalla aku n mak je kat umah over the wiken. lupe, dude n i ade program la plak wiken ni. xpe neng ade, n mak pun pastinye akan menjahit or tgk cd winter sonata utk ke 198 kalinye...huhuhu

Later! :)

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Mungkinkah sebab itu saya gembira?

"Happiness pulses with every beat of my heart." ~Emily Logan Decens

__________________________________________________________


Saya tidak tahu mengape. Tetapi saya sangat gembira hari ini walaupun tidak cukup tidur mlm td. Mungkinkah kerana saya sudah sihat? Dan mungkin juga kerana saya keluar berjumpa kawan-kawan tadi setelah sekian lama tidak keluar rumah berlibur kerana kurang sihat...

Pagi tadi, dalam pukul 11 lebey, saya keluar rumah menuju ke Shah Alam menjemput Farah & anaknye Balqis. Kemudian, kami menuju ke UM. Di situ, Azri telah sedia menunggu di rumah u. Kami pun mengambil tempat di meja yang kosong. Sementara menunggu kedatangan Muzri dan Fakhrul, Farah pergi membasuh berak anaknya di toilet. Tidak lama kemudian, Muzri sampai diikuti Fakhrul selang berapa ratus minit kemudian.Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembira?


kami semua teringin makan western.Saya mengorder lamb chop. Gravy nye sedap cume mungkin krana tukang masaknye sedang bercinte, make lamb nye sedikit hangus. Tapi saya layankan saje kerana itu adalah makanan pertama sy yg best slps asyik memkn bubur dan roti cicah air milo. Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembire?

Kemudian kami pun bercerita spt dahulu kala. Spt biasa, bile ada fakhrul & azri (terutamanye fakhrul si gile), saye la akan menjadi bahan. teruk sungguh sy dimainkan. Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembire?

Alangkah cumilnye melihat mereka bergilir-gilir mendukung balqis. Muzri juge sudah menjadi bape 50 hr yg lps. Azri bakal mnjadi bape bulan ogos ini. Fakhrul pule, bape ayam mungkin ok kot...(hohohoho). Sangat gembire melihat mereke. Jike ketika 1st yr dahulu kami slalu berdiskusi mengenai mase dpn bile sume org kawin dpt anak etc, tp skrg slps 6-7 thn, kami berdiskusi cara-cara menjaga anak, menyusukan anak dll. kwn-kwn sy yg kurang ajar itu menyatakan sy tak perlu risau susu tidak cukup, kerana melihat keadaan saya, mmg takkan habis la susu badan, kate mereka sambil tertawa. Saya hanya mampu mengeluarkan carutan kecil..Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembire?..

Selepas makan, Muzri pun pulang ke pejabat.Fakhrul memaksa kami ke rumah sewanya, maka kami berempat + balqis pun lepak di rumah sewa fakhrul pulak di vista blok 6. Patutla fakhrul mengajak. Rupa-rupanya dia ingin kami semua memuji kekreatifannya menghias rumah (walaupun dia x mintak directly). Habis bunga-bunga dan pasu bunga emaknya di curi untuk di bawa ke rumah sewa. dia mmg gile. Balqis sudah kepanasan. Farah memberikan balqis susu dan air masak. Dia tertido tidak lama kemudian. Kami pun pulang dari rumah fakhrul dan menghantar azri ke um dan farah ke shah alam. Nnt bile-bile, boleh sy kuar dgn farah lagi kerana dia dekat sahaja dgn uitm. Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembira?

Setibanya di rumah, saya pun masuk dgn gembirenye dan terus mncari ibu menceritakan kisah saya pada hari ini sambil ibu sedang bersiap utk mengambil hajar di komuter dan berjumpa adik-adik di smakl. Saya ingat nak teman ibu, tapi dah tertukar baju dgn cepat kerana panas, maka sy tidak teman ibu.sian ibu.

Kemudian saya pun mandi. Sesudah mandi, saya pun ke bawah menonton tv bersama ibu dan dude cerita manjalara. Mungkinkah sebab itu saya gembira?

Pukul 7 mlm,ibu mengajak dude dan saya makan mlm bersamanya. Kami pun makan di meja makan dan berbual-bual dgn gembira. Saya tidak merasa marah pun dengan dude hari ini langsung. Malah, saya sengaja mengada-ada untuk bermanja-manja dengan gembiranya. Dia seperti biasa, melayan je ngada-ngada saya. Mungkinkah sbb itu saya gembira?

Selepas Dude solat, kami menonton America's Funniest Video bersama-sama. Kami juga gelak terbahak-bahak menonton aksi-aksi melucukan dlm rancangan itu. Kemudian kami mengukur kain satin baju pengantin kami untuk membezakan yang mana satu perempuan atau lelaki punya. Mungkinkah sebb itu sy gembira?

Tidak lama selepas itu, Dude pun pulang. Mungkinkah sbb itu saya gembira? (hohoho)

Selepas Dude pulang, ibu turun ke bawah dengan tudung. Ibu kata nak pergi ambil dobi ayah di kedai belakang. Saya rindukan ibu. Maka say mengikut ibu pergi ke dobi. Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembira?

Ketika sampai di rumah, ayah sudah ada, baru pulang dr pejabat. Ibu beritahu ayah ibu mengambil dobi ayah kerana ada tiga seluar ayah di situ dan ibu terpaksa ambil kerana ayah out station esok. Ayah kata, kalau seluar x cukup, ayah pinjam seluar ibu. Saya kata, seluar saya ada, mesti muat. Ayah pun ketawa sambil berjalan ke bawah untuk ke surau. Mungkinkah sbb itu sy gembira?

Kemudian, saya pun duduk di meja ini, depan netbook pink yg cumil ini, menulis entry ini,sebelum memulakan kerja yang bertimbun dan yg perlu disediakan untuk berjumpa dengan Dr Harita ketua program pagi-pagi esok. Mungkinkah sbb itu saye gembire?

Saya pun tidak tahu mengape saya gembira. Tapi saya harap saya terus kekal gembira walaupun saya tahu harapan mungkin tinggal harapan selepas kembali bekerja esok hari. Entry ini hanya untuk mengingatkan saya, bahawa saya pernah segembira ini. Alhamdulillah.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

I couldn't sleep!!huhuhu

It's 5.15 am currently, and still, I could not sleep. Dah bergolek ke depan belakang tonggeng somersault sume pun x leh gak. Tadi mlm lps mkn ubat nampak bintang dah...tapi bile baring, mate jd segar lak...

So, ni br je lps amik ubat batuk yg ade antihistamine to make myself sleep. hope dpt la tido coz kene bgn awal gak (10.30..huhu)..haishh..

P/s: dapat mc lg utk hari ni..yeay!!..