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She's going home soon. She should be happy. Yes, she does feel happy. She can't wait to see her family and friends. She can't wait to go back to where she belongs to. This is not her place. She doesn't really belongs here. But, why does everytime she thought of going back, she felt empty deep down somewhere in the corner of her heart? And she feels it now.
She knows that the emptiness is just a very small fragment of other feelings she's experiencing rite now. But, she feels it. That's her problem, she feels too much. She sighs. She tries to think about all the things she might miss here and all the things starts rushing in her head, squeezing into the spaces between the nerves in her brain, colliding with her moving neurons. She couldn't list them all as there are too much.
She will first miss this city. She went to a lot of places before in this country, but never she found one as beautiful as here (even there were, she'll never admit..hihi) and she's really proud that she got the chance to live here even for only a year. She will miss her lovely modern flat, the envy of many. Her flat is provided with a lift not like most of the flats in the city which were built a long time ago with uneven staircases all the way to the top floor ( level 4 or 5 normally). She'll miss her big bedroom - her shelter from all the nastiness in the world (huhu), lepaking spot with her friends where they watched movies, played cards, gossiping, talking, scratching (thanx to broomhse guys for landing on my bed all the time and left behind 1-2 bed bugs..huhu) etc. She will miss shopping through the safe and secure online stores, she will miss shopping as a whole as the value of the money is quite high here that she can get anything here that she wouldn't dream of buying back home. She will miss all her friends here, the way they looked out for one another like a family. She'll remember how by living here, she had built and strengthen the friendship with some friends back home. And the list goes on....
She knows things will change once she's back in her hometown. All the good friends she has here, will soon have their own life and even how badly they try to maintain the friendship like they are having here, she knows, they will drift apart eventually.
And only then she realizes, she's going to miss her life here terribly. Yes, she knows she will be able to desensitize herself from this feeling sooner or later as her life will be busy, working and enjoying with friends. But, she knows too, that the small fragment of emptiness will still be there, somewhere in the corner of her heart and once in a while, something will remind her of it. And when the time comes, she hopes she will smile.
:(
5 comments:
hurm, dah nak balik dah nadot.sedey je baca blog ni.huhuhu anyway, life goes on. best apa balik msia.waaaa nak balik jugak!
nak balik tp tesis x siap2..adoi..tolong!!!...hohoho...
mmg sgt best nk balik...tp tu le..sume yg best pun ade downside dia...huhuhu....manusia x penah puas...hehehe...
yeah rite..xpenah puas..bile dh balek..terigt2 kat overseas..and complain some more..hehh..
bile xbalek..rindu plak the food..and family of course..
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ketchum id...
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