Nadot's Words

"Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat." ~Henry Emerson Fosdick

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Kite benci dia..

Kite tau, 'benci' tu macam sangat tidak patut dan mungkin kite 'tak suke' je.

Tapi, sekarang ni, mmg kite susah nak bezekan antare 'benci' & 'tak suke'. jadi, sebab perasaan yang kite rase ni, sangat-sangat kuat, kite simpulkan yang kite benci la dia. Best tak kesimpulan yang kite buat? heee


Kite tak pernah sangke akan jumpe orang macam tu dalam dunia. Selame ni kite pikir, kite orang yang paling teruk. Kalau nak tau betape teruknye kite mendescribekan diri kite sendiri, silalah lawati friendster kite & tengok dekat part 'about me'. Macam tu la teruknye kite rase kite ni.

Tapi, betullah kate org, jauh perjalanan, luas pengalaman. Dan daripada perjalanan berjalan jauh ni, kite dapat jumpe bermacam-macam jenis orang. Dan buat julung-julung kalinye, kite sangat bangge, sebab akhirnye kite tahu, kite bukanle orang paling teruk yang wujud dalam dunia ni.

Betul, kite memang ade kelemahan banyak sangat, dan orang yang kite benci tu pun, ade kelemahan dan kebaikan dia jugak. Tapi kite memang cube supaye kelemahan diri yang kite ade, tak menyusahkan orang lain sampai boleh diungkit-ungkit. Biarlah keburukan yang kite ade, kite sendiri je yang susah dan tak libatkan orang lain.

Tapi kite tau, kite ade jugak selalu menyusahkan orang lain. Dan kite cube jugak untuk menebus bende tu dengan cube membuat ape yg kite boleh buat supaye orang yang kite susahkan tu dapat jugak merase senang dengan ape yang kite dah buat.

Tapi orang yang kite benci tu tak macam tu. Bagi dia, baik dia pikir tentang hal dia sendiri daripada pikir masalah remeh temeh dengan orang lain. itu bagi dia la..

Kite kalau ikutkan tak kisah dengan pemikiran macam tu. ye lar, pasal nanti mati pun kubur lain2, sorang-sorang je. Kalau ikutkan hati semua orang pun, kite rase, sape la larat nak menjage hati orang sangat. kalau boleh semua orang nak jadi selfish. Ape2 yang dibuat, yang ade, untuk diri sendiri je, bukan untuk orang lain yang takde kene mengene.

Tapi, kite tau, kite tak leh buat macam tu. Sebab kite hidup dalam satu masyarakat.Kita hidup dikelilingi manusia lain. Kite bukan hidup sorang-sorang. Jadi, tak kisah la ape keburukan dan kelemahan kite, tanggungjawab kite untuk orang sekeliling kite yang hidup dekat sangat dengan kite, mesti la kite kene laksanekan.

Tapi lagi, tak semua orang faham tu. Kite nak bagi tau orang itu, kite rase, die dah besar & sepatutnye faham la tentang konsep hidup dengan manusia lain. Kite nak bagi tau dia dan bagi contoh untuk fahamkan dia, nanti die kate kite ungkit. Jadi kite kenela diam kan aje dan bile dah lame-lame diam, mule la kite rase makin benci, kite makin emo, kite carik kawan2 satu kepale dan cakap pasal die (mengumpat le tu) dan akhirnye, kite tambahkan dose kat diri kite sendiri. Die best je hidup tanpe pedulikkan orang, kite yang pening pikir pasal dia.

Benci betul perasaan yang kite ade sekarang. Kite rase dia sesuai duduk dalam hutan supaye dia tak payah jage hati orang sekeliling. Itu pun kalau binatang tak de perasaan jugak la.

Dah le. Bertambah emo kite nanti. Dah la kite ponteng pegi zoo hari ni. Ape-ape la kite ni.Malas sungguh. huhu. Ape pun...satu bende kite tabik toing toing kat dia.. DIA PANDAI BERLAKON.. kite jeles sbb kite nak pandai berlakon jugak...huhuhu

Merepek la kite ni..hurm...

Zoey : Boss... tuuu

Boss : Ape?! Jangan nak dalih2 lagi la...

Zoey : Tu haaa...

Boss : Ape?! Engkau ni ha?!

Zoey : Tu ha.. Coco Crunch tu..

Boss : Coco Crunch ape??..

Zoey : Staring me in the face..

Boss : (Baru faham) Coco Crunch! (Mengambil kain pelekat dan menutup coco crunch nye)

Zoey : (Gelak)

Boss : Ha..gelak..gelak..gelak.. Aku coco crunch kan kepale ko kang baru ko tau...

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Tak tahan menonton Sindarela...adoiii... Never thought to refer that 'thing' as coco crunch.

Dapat vocab baru ni..huhuhu

Ni je entry kali ni...hihihi

Later! =)

Dear Nadot,

It's been 7 months since you left Malaysia but I know you feel like it was only yesterday you arrived in Edinburgh Airport. You used to say that you couldn't make it there. You will miss your family so much that you can't concentrate. You won't get good friends that will understand you like you have in Malaysia. You will feel lonely without AWAK by your side and you'll be in tears all day that you think you might become thin.

But all things happened the other way round. You still miss your family, but you were able to concentrate and Alhamdulillah, you've passed all your papers. Yes, you met few selfish people, but still, you have a group of very good friends that understand you and accept you just the way you are. You still get lonely now and then without AWAK by your side, but you guys text each other everyday and you know that he'll be waiting for you and you'll be waiting for him too. And yes, you cried sometimes when you were feeling down, but you're not getting any thinner! In fact you've gained a few more kg! I'm very proud of you Nadot! I really am! =)

Within this 5 months, there are few things that you need to do and accomplished. First and the most important, is to focus on your dissertation. I know you have trouble focusing or concentrating on anything, and you have trouble waking up early in the morning, and you're also as lazy as Garfield, but, for the sake of your family, your sponsor, and yourself, do make sure that you try your best in doing your project and try to submit it early of August. Search for more journals, start writing the intro, method and literature review. Try not to do things last minute as you always did. Just believe in yourself, pray to God, and InsyaAllah, everything will turn out okay.

Secondly, cherish your friends around you. You might not see each other anymore once they are back in Malaysia and even if you still see or contact each other, you know that it won't be the same. They will have their own life and so will you. Therefore, do cherish every moment while you are here. Stop being emotional or childish and just enjoy your life there. You won't get to do some of the things you did there once you're back in Malaysia.

Next, improve your cooking skill while you are there. Yes, I know you have turned to be quite a good cook. But keep learning. Try new recipes, help K Linda in the kitchen more often, and if mesra.resipi.net server is down, there are still loads of website with great recipes.

Finally, please stop shopping too much. Why the hell do you need to buy new clothes every week? Your wardrobe looks like its going to collapse soon. You don't have enough space to keep all your clothes and you don't even wear all the things you've bought. Same goes with your novels. You keep buying new books even when you haven't finished reading those you had bought previously. And please stop visiting amazon.co.uk and ebay.co.uk everyday. You are not strong enough to resist the temptation those websites have. You keep buying stuffs that you know you will rarely or never use. Please don't answer back when I'm talking to you. ok? I'm getting a migraine just thinking how you are going to bring all your stuffs back to Malaysia.

Okay, okay. I'll stop here I guess. There are still loads of things I should have written here, but Diari AF6 Episode 25 and 26 are calling me to watch them. So, till fingers meet keyboard again..hihi. Do take care ok!.. Later!

Yours truly,

Si Comel yang baik... =)

"Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains." -Diane Ackerman

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It always amazes me, how a simple smell could rush all the memories back into my head. All the bitter sweet memories. Some which I've always remember and some that I've tried hard to forget and finally managed to do so.

That smell. It triggered something inside of me that had long been forgotten. Something that made me happy and sad at the same time.

I love that smell. =)

"Happiness pulses with every beat of my heart".  ~Emily Logan Decens
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She was happy tonight. Very happy. She talked on the phone with her beloved sister, mother and her special someone. She just couldn't stop singing after all those phone calls she made. "Love is in the air", she said. She smiled, she laughed. She felt like as if she was flying. She couldn't concentrate on her works. Loads of works. She was very happy. And again, she didn't understand why. She was really sad yesterday, and she was very happy today. She felt silly for her easily-changing-moods. Hahaha. She laughed again. And smiled.

And she's still smiling.... =)

"We were talking about the space between us all and the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion. Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late when they pass away" - George Harrison

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She was sad and depressed the whole day. Her friends managed to make her forget her sadness for a while. So, she laughed, she sang. She looked happy. She felt a bit happy too. But sometimes, she overreacted and became overly childish. And when she realized she was overreacted, she felt sad again; blaming herself for being so childish and immature. She didn't quite know what was wrong with her today.

After her friends went back home, she absorbed herself in her story book world. Imagining herself as Jasmin Field and lived in her cynical/idealistic world. She just loved to do that sometimes. Hiding from the bitterness of the reality by envisioning herself as one of the characters of her uncountable novels.

She felt hungry. She get off her bed, marking the page where she last read with a University-of-Oxford bookmark and left it on her desk. She ate with her beloved housemate, chatting and gossiping happily, finished her late night supper and went back to her room - her haven, her shelter, her asylum, her sanctuary.

She then sat for a while in front of her laptop and chatted with some friends. She asked a friend whom she was chatting with to give her a piece of advice about anything as she thought it might lift her spirit up or enlighten her mood or just ..just..hhmmm... She didn't really know why she needed the advice for. Anyway, her friend (maybe aware or maybe unaware of her being 'down') just told her 'Live life happily, and don't be sad'. With only that one simple sentence, she burst into tears. And again, for the umpteenth times that day, she felt lost and didn't understand what went wrong with herself.

So, she decided to hide again. Absorbing herself in her new character, Jasmin Field from the novel Acting Up, she loss herself once again...

Pada yg jijik, sila jangan bace. I'm usually not the kind of person who sangat poyo meluahkan isi hati n perut secare public.. (kawan2 aku, korg tau kan aku mcm ne..huhu)

Tapi this time, i just feel like writing/typing something for Awak because I didn't get to talk to him today and simply because i miss him...hohoho...

Dah rase geli?...blah..blah...blah....hohoho

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Hi Awak...

How was your day? I didn't get a chance to talk to you today and sorry for not replying your sms earlier. And when I did reply, you were already asleep.

Anyway, It's 12 am in the morning. Just done watching Sindarela with K Linda and in 5 minutes, we're going to have a late supper (makan nasik consider supper bley wak?..hihi)...

I miss u so much today... (heeee..i'm blushing...hohoho...jgn berharap ye wak...awak mmg tau sy tak blushing bile malu..hohoho).. But seriously, I mish u so much...huhu..

Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for your supports. Thank you for being very understanding. Thank you for just being there. Thank you for putting up with me (again, I know, it's very very hard). And finally, thank you for loving me. =)

I never thought I could survive this long distance relationship. I always thought i'll be the one who surrender and give up this relationship (you know la i'm very the ngade-ngade kan..huhu). But because of your patience (wat donno bile sy marah) and love, Alhamdulillah, we are still standing strong just like 3 years ago when we started being together. In fact, I believe we are much stronger now and hopefully, will become stronger with each day to come.

Alamak Awak.. Saya dah ngantuk la plak. There are still loads of things to say, but i'll save it when I call you later k. All the mushy2 stuffs pun, saye cakap dalam phone k. Nanti diorg bace, segan la saye...hilang la kemachoan sy..hahahahahaha...

Ape pun, I'm very very lucky to have you by my side (but not as lucky as you yang dapat saye yg best ni... hahahahha..sian awak ek dpt sy...sy bersimpati..hohohoho..). I WEV U!!...huhuhu

Papai!!! =)

p/s: Kalau kite gaduh ke, saye delete la post ni..and hopefully nobody will ever remember that I'd posted this before. hoohoho...