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Friday, 26 December 2008

~Her story - part 8, rite?

"When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood". ~Sam Ewing


It was cloudy outside. And windy too. She didn't really like cloudy weather. But when it came with the wind, she felt as if she was in a magical land. You know, when your hair kinda like flying wildly by itself and you feel like you're surrounded by a dark but cool and mysterious aura, and you started to stretch out your hands (like in the titanic)....yup yup.. not making any sense at all..huh..

She unlocked her front door, went out to the old rusty swing on her porch, sat there and breathed in the not-so-fresh air. And she started to remember, walking herself down the memory lane.... (as usual)

She remembered playing in the rain on the 'grassy' side of her house (which has now gone as her parents extended their house 12 years ago). She also remembered playing on the road in front of her house with her now grown up neighbours and sometimes being the only girl playing with all those boys. The games they played changed with seasons. When they sicked of playing 'rounders', they started to play other games including  football,  'baling selipar', lompat getah, galah panjang, police and thief (pronounced as polis entry..hoho), bicycle or roller blade racing, pass baton, and some other games as well.

She also remembered when she was 12, she wasn't allowed to play football anymore by her father because according to him, she was already a big girl, so she couldn't play a boy's game. She was quite disappointed that time as she could just watched her friends played. But it didn't stop her from enjoying her life and being her mischievous-self, she still played football when her father wasn't around (he was out of town a lottt - work-related)..huhu..

The drops of rain snapped her back to reality. Once again, she looked down on the road of 18/62, and rushed inside, smiling.... :D

Thursday, 25 December 2008

The signs??~..huhu

Are these 'the signs' when...

  • You were quarreling and fighting for almost everyday for about a year

  • He does not text you as much as he should (or as much as you told him to..huhu)

  • You're not very eager to talk to him on the phone when for the last 3 years you can't stop talking for hours before you go to bed

  • He doesn't really care if you don't like to call him anymore because he rather be sleeping than talking to you

  • You were more interested in looking at a robin jumping on the roof of your next door neighbour house, rather than listening to him apologizing for the mistake he made (which by the way, for like thousandth of time - both - the mistakes and the apologizing)

  • He keeps repeating the same mistake or almost the same mistake (huhu) again and again and again

  • He's the one who supposed to understand you better than anyone else but he doesn't seems to understand you at all

  • You're now very into the song sang by Beyonce, "If I were a boy"..hehe

These might be the signs of us coming to an end, OR the signs that I'm becoming more mature adult OR might just be the signs of my estrous cycle approaching in a week time. Whichever it might be, hope everything goes well, and nobody gets hurt. huhu...


Sunday, 21 December 2008

Boring me... huhu ~

I've read back some of my previous posts and I noticed that I liked to start my entry with "Have you ever"....

Yup yup, boring me... ;)


Thursday, 18 December 2008

~Last goodbye...

"Ain't no headlights on the road tonight

Ain't nobody here to make it right

Cause we couldn't seem to find a way for love to stay

If you had another night to give

I would have another night to live

But you're never gonna see me cry the last goodbye"

-Last Goodbye (Atomic Kitten)


Ain't got nothing to do with my life. Dude and I are just fine. It just that, this song used to be one of my fav songs  (ingat yah?..hehe) and it has been so long since I last heard it. Found the video clip just now when I was searching my hard disc for something else. hehe...


Tuesday, 16 December 2008

~I could just .... choke .... :(

I think I might have posted an entry almost similar to what I'm intending to post right now. But, who cares?!?..huhuhu


"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go". ~Author Unknown


Have you ever feel your chest hurting like something big is stepping on it, for example, an elephant? Then your eyes start to sting with sadness and you just feel like crying but all the tears seem to stuck somewhere near your throat which in the end makes your heart hurt like hell. You wish that your tears could just come out to remove the heaviness in your chest so that you could feel better. But the tears remain unmoved and just linger between your chest and throat and you end up choking instead of crying. The problem is, all these things remain in you for quite a long time and only start to go away after few hours or when something that makes you happy suddenly appears out of nowhere (which in my case is unlikely to happen..huhuh).

Have you??!!

Unfortunately, I have.... :(

Monday, 8 December 2008

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha!

Hi all...

Wishing all of you Happy Eid ul-adha!
Semoge semua pengorbanan yang kita lakukan diterima Allah s.w.t. sebagai suatu ibadah.

Have a great day! :D

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

A sentence without a full stop ~

"The past is strapped to our backs.  We do not have to see it; we can always feel it."  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Have you ever find yourself drowning in tons of work, but can't seem to start or finish 'em in time which eventually will bring yourself down and make you think about the past, where you were young and free like a bird (corny i know...hihi) and laughed all the time worrying about nothing (including your grades), and you wish (really hard) that you could turn back time??

Later! :(

Monday, 17 November 2008

Her story - Part ??? (not keeping track of her story n'more)..huhu

She has just been working for almost a month and a half,  But she already feels like quitting. No particular reason for her to feel that. It just that she has no drive to do anything plus she is a silap..lazy...huhu

She hopes she could change for the better. But she knows, harapan je la...huhuhu...

Later! ;)

Thursday, 6 November 2008

I need a reason...huhu

"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake". ~Author Unknown


As my friends, you guys should know how BIG I am... Not slightly big but very very big... More then obese I suppose...hehehe..

So, I am supposed to have the motivation to slim down a little (at least the lower part of my body). But sadly, I don't!

I tried to find myself a reason to lose my weight. Some of the main reasons and my arguments to those reasons are:

  • Health reason - I know this is the most important reason why I should lose weight, but it still not enuff to motivate me to do so... I'm healthy now, so, why should I?

  • Clothes - I could find my size at Scarlet Plus.... susah2 pun, boleh tempah..huhu

  • Boyfriend - He said he loves me just the way I am, so...hehehe

  • Appearance - The problem is, I'm confident. I don't see myself as ugly. I think I'm quite cute ape.. hohoho...

So, ape lagi nak pikir ni?....adoi la... Ape yg boleh disimpulkan ialah, aku mmg pemalas..hohoho...

Welcome November....

Before I start, I would like to wish happy birthday to my two very dear friends, Amal (0211) and Suhaily (0411). May Allah bless you guys and Love ya !!

Time just passed me by like a tornado and suddenly November came. It has been almost two months since I left Edinburgh and it seems like some of the memories have started to fade away. Glad that I took a lot of pictures there which I can look at whenever I feel like it.

My workloads have started to pile up and being my usual last-minute-self, I haven't start a thing. Plus, as a new lecturer, my other new-lecturer-colleagues and I kene jadi invigilator untuk final year exam UiTM and kene jage 10 kali exam. Every exam takes 3 hours, mati ke tak..adoi la...

Di tambah lagi dgn my brother's wedding. Luckily cuti baru je diluluskan utk 14th Nov (next friday) coz have to drive my brother ke rumah pengantin perempuan kat kedah. Untuk kenduri at our place, aku x mintak cuti coz simpan cuti utk raye haji and krismas... ye la...baru start keje, cuti pun sikit je la...

Agak kecik hati coz ade org persoalkan nape I x amik cuti bile kenduri kat belah lelaki...tensen je.. dah le abg aku yg x sabar2 nak kawin, aku lak baru masuk keje, haruskah aku sanggup di bebel oleh ketua program sbb nak mintak cuti byk walaupun baru masuk keje sebulan lebey.... Siap ade cakap nnt aku kawin xde org nk tolong lak...ewah2.. Like I did nothing la for my brother... sabar nadot..jgn emo...huhuhu

So, ape pun... for those yg rajin bace my blog ni, jemput la datang kenduri kahwin along aku on the 22nd November dkt dewan komuniti near my house...sape2 yg nk dtg tp tatau tempat, do msg me ke..emel ke.. ape2 la....

Ade cousin datang, later! :)

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

~Tak pasal2 emo gile..ape2 tah..huhu~

Remember i told u guys in my previous entry that I'm going to publish an emo post about someone. I'll do that later as I am now intending to write on something else that is also making me emo..huhuhu... I might be condemned or criticized for writing this, I don't give a damn, but just don't do it in my blog..hoho

Straight to the point, you know how some Malaysians studying or working overseas couldn't wait until they actually graduated or return to Malaysia for good to get married??..I really dont like these people.. Not everyone of them but mostly...huhu

Alasan UTAMA this kind of people bagi, usually because of AGAMA.. I'm not trying to make jokes on hukum Islam, I know, mmg better kawin dr kapel lame2, tambah dose n trbuat maksiat etc... but the issue is, diorg hanye menganggap yang diorg akan berdose kalau x kawin cepat, tp tak rase berdose n x sedar pun, yg by getting married dgn care ini, diorg akan menyusahkan kaum keluarge yg ada kat Malaysia especially their moms.

As I've mentioned earlier, bukan semua orang yg berkahwin while they were still overseas teruk. Some are very considerate. Macam maybe diorg kawin bile summer time cuti 3 months which give them enough time to settle hal2 perkahwinan diorg by themselves and also enough time to help out after the kenduri. Or those yang buat dulu perkara wajib (kalo mase n duit x cukup) iaitu just BERNIKAH and buat reception bile diorg dah balik Malaysia for good. Or maybe jugak, these people ade a very big family yang tidak bz yg boleh tolong diorg prepare everything utk majlis diorg..Orang-orang macam ini, ok je...

But not everyone is blessed with unbusy-very-big-family. And not everyone could get 3 months break just to get married. And not everyone is considerate enough to stop and think about others they will burden when they decided to get married. And I dislike this kind of people. And normally, this kind of people, terdiri dari orang bijak pandai, yang lepas SPM je, boleh fly overseas sbb bijak sangat. And because they've stayed overseas for sooo long, they never realize how hard their parents or family living their life each day or how busy they are. Boleh tahan lagi, kalau diorg tak bising2 nak itu nak ini, tp tah nape tah, org2 mcm ni, biasenye agak cerewet. With just a phone call and money transferred from overseas, they ordered their parents/sibling/friends to do this and that, dont want like this or like that, go buy this or that, dont want this colour, go and find that colour..etc..etc..etc... Then, yg emonye lagi, lepas kahwin, some of them won't even be staying together, sorg maybe kat utare n sorg maybe belajar kat selatan...adoi la...

That's what make me think sejak kenal dgn org2 mcm ni, for them, not getting married early enough is a sin, but menyusahkan parents/family tak pulak berdose eh..pelik gak... For the guys, couldn't their sperms wait a little longer before joining with the ovum and for the ladies, I know an ovum can only live for 24 hrs, but you'll get a new ovum each month, so, why can't u wait??!!

ye betul even yg kawin kat malaysia pun, mesti secare x langsung akan tersusahkan parents kite, tp insyaAllah, very minimum la...coz beli brg2, ade kite...carik baju ke, pelamin ke, pun sendiri jugak.. tp org2 yg diceritekan di atas ni, A - Z org kene watkan..cerewet lg...nak suh buat mcm2... x segan tul...adoi la..

Again, saye nak tegaskan, I'm not against early marriage. Kalau org tu cukup syarat, mampu or even di oversi pun dgn ciri2 that i've mentioned previously, go ahead. Kahwin cepat2. But to those yg hanye berpendapat kawin lambat berdose tapi menyusahkan mak ayah from A-Z (tanpe sdr org lain pun bz gak!) x berdose
, maleh ar nak cakap ape. Sah2 mmg selfish gile..

I know i'm far from perfect...I did hurt my parent's feeling n burden them at times. and feel bad everytime I did those. But these selfish people, they know nothing and aware of nothing and they think that they are perfect and never once stop to think that some people might get hurt because of something they do.

Enuff said!

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

My life, so far... ;) ~

So far, my life in Malaysia has been great, but a bit busy though... had to settle few stuffs regarding kakteh's punye study kat indon, then some other stuffs pasal along's wedding this coming november i.e tempah kad kawin etc then of course la sbb nk raye n nakstart working after raye, so kene la shopping kasut keje, handbags...bought a pair of working shoes dkt edinburgh, tp still dlm kotak yg x samapi2 lg..risau gile.. according to post opis, amik mase 10 days dah 2 laptop's power cords and some important stuffs dalam kotak tu..mati le kalo x smpi...huhuhu

Sangat menyesal coz mase kat edin malas nak pikir pasal keje, so, x beli handbags n shoes awal2 dkt sane... mmg sgt menyesal ... my size sangat ssh nak carik dkt Malaysia. Kaki sangat besar seperti gergasi...huhu...I wear 42 euro size. dkt malaysia, normally size paling besar is 41 euro size...kecewe gile.... kene suruh k linda shopping kan ni...huhuhu... utk handbag plak, fortunately, k linda dgn baik hati gave me a farewell/birthday gift Guess handbag..ade la jugak satu handbag ala-ala org pegi keje punye...adoi la.. huhu

Last Friday, went berbuke pose with my close friends since high school. Even there were only 9 of us that day, it was great as finally, I get to meet my friends after a year not seeing them. Next meeting will be at my house on the 2nd week of raya (open house kecil-kecilan for my close friends..hehe), and hopefully those who didn't turn up for the buka pose event, will come eventually (jgn x dtg eh dawat,sue,ros,sare n lain2 yg mmg diwajibkan ittew)...

Then on Saturday, Dude belanje me buke pose at JW Marriot KL. We fought all the way from home to the hotel (my version of fight = I talk; Dude listen/ignore/wat dek/etc..hoho) and didn't talk at all for the 1st 20 minutes bile dh smpi kat hotel. but eventually, kene jugak bersuare coz sangat malas bangun amik buffet, so had to keluarkan my sweet little voice and dgn mengade-ngadenye suruh dude amikkan makanan.. yeay!.. hoho..the foods were really great .... waaaaayyy better than the buffet in The Apartment, klcc that i ate for berbuke with my friends the day before...with only rm 7 difference between the apartment and jw marriot, I get like more than 50 extra dishes...sooo worth it...

it's currently 1.22 am in the morning. My mom and neng still downstairs masak lontong n kuah kacang.. I offered to help kupas bawang putih tadi, but neng said x i played starwars battlefront with afiq for 2-3 hours..lucky me!..hohoho.. So, nak pegi intai mak then..then tido le kot...

Anyway, I was meaning to write about someone/something yang again, made me emo when I was still in x berkesmpatan lagi.. (x best gile tulis using this pc..uurrghh...)... or maybe sbb bln pose, so sesi kutuk-mengutuk org (sikit-sikit je..hehe) kene la kurangkan sikit...hehehe... but still i will write about that someone...coz sgt geram..hohoh....

Anyway, to all my friends and those who know me, I wish you guys Selamat hari Raya Aidilfitri.. I also would like to apologize for everything I've done since the first day I've known you guys. I know I might be a pain in the as* sometimes, jadi mintak maaf sangat-sangat..and hope i'm forgiven... hehehe.. Thanks eh! ;)


Friday, 19 September 2008

I'm home!!!!!!!!!~

With all those exclamation marks on the title, sounds like i'm very excited and happy to be back in Malaysia. But honestly, not that excited, and not that happy...hehehehe... But still, I'm glad I'm home.. ;)

I arrived in KLIA on the 12th of Sept at 5.15 pm. Sorry for not updating this blog earlier. I left my laptop's power adaptor in Edin and waiting for it to be delivered (Thanks so much K Linda..hihi). So, for the time being, I'm using our old PC which is very lembab & membantutkan selere untuk online everyday. ..huhu..Still having problem with my sleeping pattern and feel tired all the time. Wish that I could sleep for 72 hours straight non-stop (no, I don't want to be in coma, I just want to sleep..huhu)..

Already reported my arrival at UiTM. Not sure when I'll start working because my head of programme is on her break until today but hoping it will be after raya ...huhu

Being home, I've turned myself to my lazy-self and not really proud of it. But, with my room upstairs and the kitchen downstairs, there's nothing I could do to help..hohoho.. However, I've impressed my family and myself by making roti jala and and chicken curry yesterday (taught by K linda) .. hehehe.. wasn't bad at all.. hoho...

Guess I'll stop here..not really in the mood to write. Will update more once I get my laptop's power cords. Later!! ;)

Thursday, 11 September 2008

I'm going back!!...haha :)...huhu :(

I can't wait to go back, but at the same time, I don't want to go back...huhuhu...

I've just received my flight e-ticket and I will be departing from Edinburgh Airport on the 11th Sept at 2.50 pm. Then. I'll be arriving at Heathrow around 4 pm and have to wait 6 hours before my flight back to KL. So, I've bought few books and I have my sudoku to occupy myself during the endless waiting (endless le sgt...huhu)..

I haven't finished packing, yet my bag is heavier than it supposed to. I hope I don't have to pay a lot for the over-weight bag, but if I have to, then K linda has to pay for me first because I'm practically, technically and basically BROKE! huhuhu...

Gotta get ready to break my fast with the guys. Cidud belanje kami, yeay!..hehe... Doakan sy slamat smpi Malaysia yer....till then.Later! ;)

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Letter for awak - part 2~ huhuhu


This is a once-in-a-blue-moon type of post from the author (tidak, bulan tidak mengambang, saye masih berpuase..hoho). This post is not intended for the reading of those who hate mushy2 stuffs or PDA (public display of affections - not that I show any affection here..hohoh). To those who hate this kind of personal post, I could only say "aku punye pasal la, ni blog aku". hohoho... Thank you. ;)


Dear awak,

After a year, I finally am going back. After a year not seeing you, finally saye akan jumpe awak balik.. Tapi, will things change? Even kita sangat jauh dari each other, dah 5789 kali kita bergaduh sampai saye dah penat. Kita clash (in my definition..hehe) mmg tak leh nak kire jugak. maybe la half from the jumlah yg kite gaduh..hohoho...

Will we keep fighting bila saya balik ni? awak tau kan betape tak sukenye saye everytime kite gaduh. Bukan je tak suka kat awak yang jadi punca (betul la..awk punca..bkn saye..hoho), tapi bile kite gaduh, membuatkan saye benci diri sndiri coz u know how ugly I can be kan bile kite gaduh. All the hurtful words yang keluar dari mulut saye or jari saya (ketika menaip sms..hehe), takde sape boleh tahan. even awak pun boleh marah saye balik even awk yg start yang of course la jangan harap saya nak bagi awak menang kan.. hoho..

Awak kate, awak x sabar nak jumpe saye. Awak kate, awak rindu saye sangat. Tapi, saye mmg tak percaye la dgn awak ni. Kalau awak rindu sy, nape suke nak wat saye marah smpi sy mnjadi lagi teruk dari incredible hulk or hulk hogan? Awak tau saye sgt sensitif, emo n pemarah, lagi awak nak menjolok sarang tebuan (betulkn bidalan saye ni?..hoho).. Saye mintak clash, awak x bagi, saye pun x paham. Awak paham x?... hohohoho....

Entah la, kite wait and see je la ape akan jadi dengan kite yer.. Tapi tu le, risau gak..huhu.. awak cube tau jangan bagi saye marah. nanti saye sedey, marah awak lagi. tak suke. Awak tolong eh baiki hati saye. Dah retak yang hampir pecah ni (waahh..hebatnye saye menggunakan ayat2 bahase melayu puitis...hohoho). saye takut nnt dia pecah beyond repair je...huhu...

Okay le awak ye, saye nak kemas2 sket. Banyak betul barang saye nak bawak balik ni. Adoii... Awak kerje elok2 k... jangan puase yang yuk pagi2 bukak periuk ye...hoho... take care yer. I'll call you later tonight (kalau saye bangun tido b4 awk tido la.. hihihi...)..

papai awak.. ;)

Sunday, 31 August 2008

Final Destination~ hoho

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose". ~From the television show The Wonder Years


This morning, most of my stuffs have been collected by the shipping company to be shipped to Malaysia. i don't have much left with me here. It is sad seeing my almost-empty-but-very-messy room which indicates that my journey here has almost come to an end. The walls of my room once full of pictures, now have nothing on it. The realization hits me hard, I really am going home...huhu... :(

Anyway, I've told myself that b4 going home, I MUST go to Loch Ness. You know, the lake where people claimed to see a monster called Nessie..ring a bell?.. huhu.. Anyhow, because of the monster thingy, Loch Ness has become one of the main attractions of Scotland ever since which was why I really feel like going there....

Thanks to K Linda, Cidud and Eby for making my dream come true. We decided to rent a car on the 27th and 28th August 2008. On the 27th, we went to various places in and nearby Edinburgh starting with Livingston Designer Outlet to shop for my family. After spending almost 4 hours in the mall and hundreds of pounds, we continue our journey to Portobello Beach. Here I took loads of picture especially of Eby and Cidud jumping around and I tell you, it was hilarious..hehe... i will upload some of the shots taken in my friendster and fotopage (LATER..). After cam whoring in Portobello, we went to K Lily's place and have our dinner there. At 8pm, we rushed to Fountainpark to catch the final show of Hellboy for that day at 8.20 pm. Luckily we managed to arrived there on time and after the movie, Cidud and Eby drove us home around 11pm. K Linda and I were very exhausted and already sounded asleep before midnite.

As early as 5.20 am the next morning, both of us were already getting ready to go to our Loch Ness road trip. I called Cidud to wake him and eby up. K Linda prepared the fried rice and I took my bath and checked my camera. At around 6.30 Cidud and Eby arrived at High Riggs and pick us up.

We didn't really have anything in mind on where to go or where to stop. We just stopped whenever we saw beautiful sceneries and castles. Our first stop was the Loch Ness. We had our breakfast there and took a lot of pictures (which will be uploaded in Fotopage later). Next we stopped at Urquhart Castle (only from outside..huhu), Fort Augustus, Inverlochy castle, Stirling castle and few other places and lochs in between. We were not aware of their names but the sceneries were really breathtaking. I 'oohh' and 'aahh' all the way from the start of our journey until we were back on motorway.

I enjoyed every second of the trip even though we had to rush so that we could arrive in edinburgh before dark. I really wish I had more time to explore the Highland and not rushing like we did, but nevertheless, I really enjoyed the trip. Again, many thanks to K Linda, Cidud and Eby for putting up with my ngade-ngadeness throughout our two days together. I really gonna miss those days and thank God I have more than 600 pictures of us and all the places to remember them by... :)

Later! ;)

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

EMO ... again...huhuhu~

"Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it". ~Vincent Van Gogh, 1889


It has been a long time since I last felt EMO and now, I'm EMO again. hohoho. I thought only one person here could make me EMO but, that person is now gone and being replaced by another person whom, sad to say, had successfully making me EMO!!..

So much for a, I believe that I am now being tested by Him and I should be strong and just ignore all the things or person that could make me EMO. How I wish I could be that strong...huhuhu..

Enuff said! ;)

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Technically, i'm done! ...huhu~

I've submitted my dissertation...yeay!...huhu...Our dateline was supposed to be on the 22nd, but I submitted my dissertation a day earlier which was on the 21st. i don't think I did well for this dissertation, I wrote craps, I thought craps, but I really hope I'll pass my MSc..huhu.. thanks to K Linda and espcially Cidud for helping me with technical probs in my dissertation. Serius Cidud, xde ko, x siap tesis aku..hhuhuhu...tq tq tq... ;)

So now I have a week left before fasting month and need to use these days doing something memorable before I go home. I thought of going to Lochness next week but not yet sure as all of our driving licenses were dead.. huhu... i received quite a few invitation from my seniors here to visit their house for the last time. Already went to K Sham's place this evening and going to K mai's house tomorrow. Waaah..really going to miss everything and everyone here.

I really do look forward to go back even I'll miss this place very much, but, I hate the packing process and i need to do it fast as I'm going to ship most of my stuffs this becoming Saturday. I bought two boxes and thought they were enough. But by looking at all my stuffs now, I have the feeling that two boxes are not enough and I may have to tumpang other seniors. Waahh...segannye nk mintak tumpang...huhu...

i do think I sound a bit formal in this post and a bit not myself. so, before I talk craps, Id better stop! Till fingers meet keyboard again...hehe...daa~

Friday, 15 August 2008

~Doing what I'm good at - wasting time! ;)

"You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by".  ~James Matthew Barrie


I've explained in my previous post how my life is kinda upside down at the moment. So, yesterday, I tried to sleep a bit earlier than usual since I woke up quite early . At around 4.20 am, I lied on my bed,  turning and twisting around on my bed and  after 2 hours, around 6.30 am, only then I managed to sleep. It was a bliss! I woke up at 4.15 pm feeling fresh...and hungry..huhu...

K Linda and I have decided earlier that we're not going to cook today. So, after taking my bath and etc, we went out to sushi bar no. 1 3 minutes walk from our flat. That is one of our fav restaurants here besides thaisanuk, Bonzai, Khushi, and so on....huhuhu.... I brought my camera along today, so I took a few shot of K linda eating and posing at the same time...hehe...

After taking pictures, gossiping and not finishing our meals (tapau as usual..hihi), we walked to the meadows which is near our flat (5 mins walk). Again, I asked K Linda to pose which she gladly complied.hehe.. So, here goes some of our gedik poses at the restaurant and the the meadows.. I'll put the rest in friendster when I have the time to do that (not like anyone want to see them anyway..hoho)...

[caption id="attachment_108" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="K Linda ;)"]K Linda ;)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_109" align="aligncenter" width="233" caption="Saye makan buruk, jadi, harus di edit..huhu"]Saye makan buruk, jadi, harus di edit..huhu[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_110" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Our miso soups, vege dumplings and green tea ;)"]Or miso soups, vege dumplings and green tea ;)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_111" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="takde-maknenye pose ;)"]takde-maknenye pose ;)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_112" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="merenung-mase-depan pose -hohoho-"]merenung-mase-depan pose -hohoho-[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_113" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="inhale-exhale pose"]inhale-exhale pose[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_114" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side pose ;)"]the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side pose ;)[/caption]


So again, I've succeeded in wasting my time...yeay!.hoho...Later! ;)

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Edinburgh at 5 am~

My life is upside down at the moment. My sleeping pattern has changed from bad to worst. i sleep at 6-7 am nowadays and wake up at 4 pm. Even so, I only managed to complete 4-5 sentences per night for my dissertation. I swear I don't really now what I was doing staying awake all night in front of my laptop. My dissertation due to submit on the 22nd of August. But I need to finish it a week earlier so that I have enough time to print 4 copies of this dissertation and send them for binding.

Anyhow, my staying up all night hasn't come to waste completely. I get to see Edinburgh at 5 am in the morning and here are some shots of the view from my flat on the 4th floor. huhu..

[caption id="attachment_104" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The usually busy junction at 5 am"]The usually busy junction at 5 am[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_105" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Nothing interesting in this pic, just wasting my time uploading it..huhu"]Nothing interesting in this pic, just wasting my time uploading it..huhu[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_103" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="5 am in Edinburgh"][/caption]

Okay, I've wasted enough time writing this post (uploading is more lke it). Got to get back to work. owh..but i feel like eating maggi. so,got to eat.. daaa~.. ;)

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Her story part 6 ~ Goodbye Edinburgh

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." ~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

She's going home soon. She should be happy. Yes, she does feel happy. She can't wait to see her family and friends. She can't wait to go back to where she belongs to. This is not her place. She doesn't really belongs here. But, why does everytime she thought of going back, she felt empty deep down somewhere in the corner of her heart? And she feels it now.

She knows that the emptiness is just a very small fragment of other feelings she's experiencing rite now. But, she feels it. That's her problem, she feels too much. She sighs. She tries to think about all the things she might miss here and all the things starts rushing in her head, squeezing into the spaces between the nerves in her brain, colliding with her moving neurons. She couldn't list them all as there are too much.

She will first miss this city. She went to a lot of places before in this country, but never she found one as beautiful as here (even there were, she'll never admit..hihi) and she's really proud that she got the chance to live here even for only a year. She will miss her lovely modern flat, the envy of many. Her flat is provided with a lift not like most of the flats in the city which were built a long time ago with uneven staircases all the way to the top floor ( level 4 or 5 normally). She'll miss her big bedroom - her shelter from all the nastiness in the world (huhu), lepaking spot with her friends where they watched movies, played cards, gossiping, talking, scratching (thanx to broomhse guys for landing on my bed all the time and left behind 1-2 bed bugs..huhu) etc. She will miss shopping through the safe and secure online stores, she will miss shopping as a whole as the value of the money is quite high here that she can get anything here that she wouldn't dream of buying back home. She will miss all her friends here, the way they looked out for one another like a family. She'll remember how by living here, she had built and strengthen the friendship with some friends back home. And the list goes on....

She knows things will change once she's back in her hometown. All the good friends she has here, will soon have their own life and even how badly they try to maintain the friendship like they are having here, she knows, they will drift apart eventually.

And only then she realizes, she's going to miss her life here terribly. Yes, she knows she will be able to desensitize herself from this feeling sooner or later as her life will be busy, working and enjoying with friends. But, she knows too, that the small fragment of emptiness will still be there, somewhere in the corner of her heart and once in a while, something will remind her of it. And when the time comes, she hopes she will smile.


Sunday, 3 August 2008

Why??!! Why??!!


This is a very emotional post and a personal view of the author. Comments that oppose the view of the author will be deleted. Comments from those who hold the same view as the author and as emotional as the author are welcome!..hohohoho


You can say whatever you want to say. You can say that I'm being unrealistic, or childish, or even emotional. But, I really hate the ending of Sindarela! You see, I'm a suc*er for and-they-live-happily-ever-after type of ending, and the original Disney Cinderella ended her story that way. So why did the Malaysia Sindarela has to end the other way round?

Okay, in reality, I wouldn't have chose Tengku Husin myself. How could I choose a man who could say those spiteful words towards me in front of his ex and didn't contact me at all to apologize even when he felt guilty. I'm not going to choose a coward. However, that is reality and reality is everywhere around me. If I want a reality, I wouldn't waste my time waiting for Sindarela being uploaded in I'm real. People around me are real. The news in the newspaper are real. I had enough of reality. Could I taste a bit of fantasy by watching drama series which title is the same as one of the greatest love stories ever (Cinderella..hehehe)?

I'm not really into tv or movie etc.I'd rather sit on my bed reading novels than watching drama series or movies or etc. So, I'm very selective in choosing what to watch and usually, I'll go with stuffs that could make me laughed and happy. Yes, Sindarela did make me happy and laughed for the first 25 episodes, but in the 26th, why did Zoela not being together with Husin??!?

Enuf said! :)

Saturday, 26 July 2008

~Another attempt and ehem.. I did it!!hoho

"In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time". ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book


I'm proud of myself!!!!...hoho

Yesterday (the next day after my 1st attempt of buat meatballs utk bakso), I've made another attempt of constructing the perfect meatballs for my bakso (perfect as in they'll stay in the ball shape rather that break into debris and taste a bit better than just , flour!?!), and now, I'm proudly announce, I've made it (with some alterations here and there to the size of the ingredients)!!!...

Yep, the taste wasn't at all near the same as my fav bakso in Arena OU, but at least they looked like a meatballs and they tasted like meat (not like plain flour as b4) and they were definitely edible even they weren't that good but again, they were definitely edible!!..huhuhu..

I wish I have the same kind of persistence in doing my dissertation, which I don't... *sigh*

:( later!!

Friday, 25 July 2008

Oh Bakso ku~ sob sob sob

"Failure doesn't mean you are a failure... it just means you haven't succeeded yet". ~Robert Schuller


My first attempt buat bakso - I failed... uwaaaa...sangat sedey...

The taste of the soup was fine, but the meatballs, 1)for some reasons, they just didnt want to stick and ended up not being a meatball but more like floating debris and 2) the taste of the floating debris themselves, didn't taste like meat at all, but more like corn flour (coz letak byk corn flour le psl)..adoii..

It started in compuer lab when I was staring at the comp too lazy to think about the stat programme, and suddenly, I was thinking about my fav bakso I ate in Arena Jusco OU and so I searched for the recipe (that was what i did in the comp lab - other than doing some personality tests - and so, not finishing my work..hohoh) from mesra resipi and dgn saliva yg terkumpul dlm mulut, started la buat bakso sebaik saje smpi umah. Sedeynye tak jadi!!!

Nak makan Bakso Arena!!!!!! :(

Thursday, 24 July 2008

~Obviously the previous post wasn't my last post for July..hoho

OK, currently it's 5.11 am in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep at all since yesterday. My eyes are as fresh as the morning dew and my brain can't seems to stop working like a workaholic (sgt bertentangan dgn tuan punye otak..huhu). The reason why (i think) : I drank nescafe yesterday morning for my breakfast. You know, with all the caffeine and this and that. I'm not a coffeeholic and in fact i rarely drink them except if i wanted to stay awake during classes which was more or less the same case as yesterday (to cut story short:need to go to comp lab everyday now-can't do anything at home-but felt sleepy everytime I sat in front of the computer in the lab-resulting in me drinking nescafe-which in the end causing me to lost my sleep).

Was thinking to take a pill of antihistamine but I knew i won't be able to wake up until past 5pm if i did.huhu.So, will keep trying to sleep after writing this post for at least 5 hours as I need to wake up at around 11 before going to computer lab.

"Dear my damn-beautiful-eyes and my smarty-ass-brain, could we just, sleep?!?"

-5.33 am-

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

First post for July (and maybe the last..huhu)

Waahhh.... lamenye tidak menulis!!...huhuhu...But couldn't let july pass without at least a post,so here goes my first and maybe the last blog for July!...hoho...

Hurm...not sure where to start as many things had happened since my last post. Start dgn my jalan-jalan carik jantan la..silap..carik pasal..hohoho... 2 weeks after we went to Ireland, K linda, Cidud n I went to Paris for 4 days, then the next 2 weeks, Alang came and visit me from Russia before heading back to Malaysia for her summer break and while she was here, we (together with K linda) went to Essex and London visiting Farid n fifi, and then headed back up to York and next to Preston where along took us to Liverpool, Blackpool, and Manchester (again...huhu). And in this 5 days trip, we managed to go to all Top 4 Clubs of EPL stadiums, Old trafford, Anfield, Emirates, and Stamfordbridge...huhuhu...

We might go on another trip in August to places in Scotland and north England, but that hasn't been carefully planned yet as it depends on my dissertation progress which does not seems to show any progress at all. I'm suppose to be busy with writing up my dissertation as I have less than a month to submit, but, being my-lazy-ass-self, I've written 200 words out of 10 000 words. Yes, I'm worry but there's nothing I can do when I don't seem to have ideas on how to start and what to write. So, I just wasting my time watching Taiwanese Drama Ying Ye 3+1and reading my novels which I can't seem to stop buying from

I hope I could get in the mood ASAP and could submit my thesis earlier than we supposed to. Do wish me luck guys. ..huhu.. Later!

Sunday, 15 June 2008


"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends." ~Richard Bach


Whenever we or our friends wanted to start a new life and need to move to some other places , time nak habis skolah ke, habis uni ke, ade kwn pindah ke, tak kire la bile2 kan, for me, the saddest part wasn’t the moment when we said goodbye, but the saddest part was knowing that eventually, we won’t miss or remember each other as we missed and remembered them at the moment when we said goodbye.

Sad to think how easy we get habituated with that situation. The friends that we were so hard to let go once, and few days, weeks or months later, we won’t remember or miss them as much as we did at the first place...or, not at all..

True, time healed. True, we need to move on. And true, we are not supposed to linger on the past. But, just wondering, could those feeling last a lil longer naturally without us controlling it? Yep, i know the answer.. :(


Saturday, 14 June 2008

~Selfish Tasha~

Just an excerpt from Zoela's advices to her stepsister, Tasha when Tasha told Zoe that she wasn't ready to live a hard life ( 10 k per month considered very little?!? )..adoiii...

Zoela: I think its about time change la. Stop being so selfish please... The world does not revolves around you. Take this a sign, okay? And after this you start fresh.


Please Nadot... stop being selfish... Bad Nadot..very bad Nadot.. huhuhu

~Conversation with a stranger~

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia


My Babu and Fanindra were both eating blissfully near their wallow. The weather was fair - with patches of white clouds here and there. Watching them eat, made my stomach growled.

"........., right?" I was a bit shocked. I thought I was alone. On my right, there stood a man looking at me waiting for my answer to his question.


"The rhinos, one weight 3 tons, aite?" he asked. I was trying quite hard to concentrate on his thick Scottish drawl and his gruff voice.

Like I know how many kilogram equivalent to 3 tons, but politely i answered, "Yep".

"They are heavier than a land rover then", the man continued. And like I know the weight of a land rover?..huhu..

"Owh, is it?" I asked looking interested.

"Aye. They are the third largest among the rhino species".

"No, they are the second largest".

"No, they are third"

"NO, they are second. It's written on the board outside their enclosure over there", I pointed to the indoor enclosure.

"Owh. So they're larger than the black rhino?"

"Yep. Black rhino is the third largest", I felt quite good for being able to remember that fact and told the man about it.

"Still, they are massive. I wonder how old they are".

"Both of them are 3 years old. Not fully grown yet", I explained.

"Not fully grown and they are this big. Imagine when they are 15, 20 years old". He sounded really surprise by the fact that both my rhinos are only teenagers. I chuckled.

We were both in silent for a few minutes watching the rhinos browsing for food. Just trying to be nice, I asked "Are you from Edinburgh?"

"Aye", he answered.

"So, you often come here?"

"I came here last year, but it wasn't Indian Rhino here.It was White rhino," he explained.

Then we talked a bit more (>10 mins) where he told me about his collection on animal's models, asking me about my dissertation and some other things before he thanked me and went to see other animals.

There wasn't any point for this post. Just a remembrance of my conversation with a stranger.


Monday, 9 June 2008

~Her story - Part 5 dah?~..huhuhu

"The road leading to a goal does not separate you from the destination; it is essentially a part of it." ~Charles DeLint


The bus was approaching. She stood and waited for the bus to stop. The bus stopped right in front of her and opened its door. "Hi!", greeted the driver. She smiled politely and swiped her card on the card-swiping-machine (whatever it was called) and took her sit next to the window. The bus began its journey to the city.

It was warm and sunny outside. But she liked the weather very much. It wasn't as hot as her own country. For her, the weather was perfect. The weather itself made her smile (provided nothing happened that could change her mood). And she knew, mid spring to summer was her favourite weather here in Edinburgh and she will miss it so much once she's back in Malaysia.

From inside the bus, she looked at the outside world as if she was seeing from a giant screen cinema. The world was really like a big massive stage she thought. While the bus stopped at the red light, she saw an elderly couple in their 70s or 80s walking hand in hand on the busy pedestrian sidewalk, oblivious to the rest of the world. The scene reminded her to a conversation she had with a friend. She told that friend that she really hope that she and her husband (whoever he might be) will still be holding hand walking together no matter how old they are, as long as they are still alive. Being a typical malay guy friend, she was laughed at. She was told that she was a hopeless romantic and that wasn't likely to happen. But she didn't care. She said that was what she wanted and that was what she would do. She smiled to herself again.

The bus kept on moving and was almost approaching the city. And she kept on watching and observing the world as if she was watching a life performance on a theater stage. All the scenes that she saw made her smile. "Do these people realize that they are being watched?", she thought to herself. "Obviously not", she answered her question herself with another smile.

The bus finally approaching Princes St. She pressed the bell and the bus stopped at the next stop. She get off the bus and crossed the road to another bus stop where she need to take another bus to go home.

And that was how she pictured life as. Some people reached their destination or goal easily and some have to work hard and try different ways to make it. And in the end, is not whether you achieved your goal or not, but the effort you put in, that's what really matters. Just as long as you do your best, just be rest assured that God will take care of the rest.

The last bus to take her home was approaching. And for the umpteenth times that day, she smiled again... :)

Sunday, 1 June 2008

I'm in Galway, Ireland!!!!!!!

Hi Guysss!!!!!!!!!!! It's my 2nd day here in Galway, Ireland. The weather was nice and very sunny today. We walked from Mira's place which is quite near the centre all the way to Salthill which is 30-40 mins walking distance, taking pictures along the way. Not going to go into details about it as I have to sleep and get up early tomorrow to prepare some foods for our one day trip tomorrow to some places near Galway.

And around midnight, Kak Linda and I have to get ready to take our bus back to Dublin Airport at 1.15 am and will fly back to Edinburgh at 6.30 am and arrives at 7.40 am.

Anyway, I'm feeling kinda useless and hopeless right now (Nothing to do with this trip). Two things are bugging my mind which i'm not in the mood to share as they are not very important, really. For one thing, I hope that God shows me the way and hope it ends well whatever the ending is. And for the 2nd thing, I'm sad and annoyed with myself for butting in other people's problem at the first place and in the end just getting myself dissapointed as I couldn't really do anything about it.

I'm getting my sleep now. Enuff said...

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

~3 months to go..and yep..i'm still counting..huhu~

June is coming in the next few days and that means i have 3 months left before i'm going back to my blood-spilled-land (tanah tumpah darah)...hohoho..

Loads of things need to be settled particularly regarding my dissertation which i am in no mood talking (ended up talking about it in the next few sentences) or doing anything about it. Going to the zoo, waiting for the rhino training for hours and ended up with no training was really depressing and frustrating. My data collection which supposed to be done by end of May have to be extended until God-knows-when. 8 more training to go and 3 more weeks before my trip to Paris. Wishing for a miracle from Karen, Sue and Alan (the Rhino keepers and trainers) that they could conduct at least 3 trainings in a week (which they should do according to Rob (my supervisor)).

Loads of places to go before I'm going back home. This Friday, i'm going to Ireland visiting Mira. Next 3 weeks to Paris and to Essex, London, Manchester, Preston and York early of July together with Alang from Russia who is coming to visit me on her summer break. These are the places that we are already confirmed to go. But still there are quite few places that we might consider visiting i.e Hull, Cardiff etc. not sure where to fit them in my schedule.huhu..

Best of luck to myself , wishing and praying that Allah would give me more strength to finish my dissertation in time and with less difficulties. Amiiinn... ;)

Friday, 16 May 2008

A wedding card, a parcel, and a sweet gift ~ =)

"It isn't the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it." ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994



today, I received a wedding card from Ziera. Yup, I know I couldn't attend the ceremony, but I could feel the excitement and am really happy for her and fazli. Second wedding card I received in Scotland after Farah's. Thanks Farah and Ziera for wasting your time and money sending me your wedding card all the way from Malaysia to Scotland even you guys knew I couldn't attend. Thank you so much..Love you both..

Besides Ziera's card, I've also received a parcel from my mom..yeay!!..been waiting for it for a week.. Can't wait to read Conan 60 that mom sent. Mekaceh Mak...muaaahhhzzz...hihihi...

Inside the parcel was also a gift from AWAK... I knew that he was going to send me something through my mom. But he said it was a surprise and just wait and see. But my mom, not knowing that it was a suprise, told me when we talked on the phone what AWAK bought for me.. time, wrap la bende tu.. So, bcoz suprise tak jadi...Nak suprise lagi AWAK..boleh??..hehehe...just kidding... Anyway, I really love it.. I wonder where you got your good taste from(from me la...hehehe)...

Okay guys...K linda dah panggil utk lunch..

Till the next post...later! :)

Thursday, 15 May 2008

Her story - part 4 ~ Tribute to a friend

There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound. ~Diana Cortes


She felt terrible yesterday. She'd hurt her good friend. The friend said she had not. But she knew she did. That friend as usual just being a good friend told her that that friend didn't feel anything and that she'd just imagining things. But, knowing herself, she knew she hurt that friend.

She can be very very persuasive at times. And yesterday she was being very persuasive to that friend. It wasn't entirely her fault really as that friend had promised before that she could ask anything she wanted except one or two things that that friend told her not to. So yesterday, she asked that friend a question that wasn't on the list of the questions not to be asked. But that friend can't answer that question and that friend apologized for not being able to answer.

But being her persuasive self, she demanded the answer from that friend and start to bring up the past conversation when that friend told her that she could ask anything. But that friend just apologized and blamed that-friend-self again and again and never once that friend blamed her for forcing that friend to tell her something that that friend couldn't tell.

That friend was being very gentle and tried really hard not to hurt her more as that friend knew she has a very sensitive heart and sulk easily even she continued to demand the answer to a not-important-question. And after a long conversation of her demanding and that friend apologizing, she realized, as usual, she was being childish again. She realized that things won't always worked out like the way she wanted and she can't force that friend to do what the friend didn't want to do just to fill her curiosity. And that friend kept saying that she wasn't the one to be blamed, she was a good friend and etc to lift her up.

She still has a lot to learn not only on how to be a good friend, but a good human being as well.

To that friend, thank you for being a good friend. And even one day we'll contact each other less as we both will have our own separate life, just so you know and hope you'll remember that you had once been considered as one of my good friends and I'm honored to be your friend as well (since 2001 ke 2002 eh?..huhu)...


Saturday, 10 May 2008

~Her Story - Part 3 eh?..huhu~

"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again. " ~Rosa Parks


She's tired of all the fightings. She's tired of feeling angry and sad. She wants to be happy. But lately what they did was fighting all the time. It wasn't actually fighting as she was the one who did all the talking when he started to say wrong thing at the wrong time or didn't say anything at all when all she wanted was soothing words to make her feel better. She hates it when everytime she wasn't feeling good and need someone to talk to, she had to turn to her friends instead of him to make her feel better.

She blames herself for having a very very very sensitive heart. But she blames him more for not understanding her enough after almost 4 years together. He said everything will be better once she goes back home. "Will it be better?", often she wondered. Is their love so weak that it can only be good when they're near but not when they are far from each other? Isn't a true love should make it through all conditions, through thick and thin, through far or near, through everything??!?

She didn't care if he soothed her with words taken from movies or from poems, or maybe from song lyrics, but why can't he just comforted her? Was it so hard to make her feel better?

She's really confuse right now. She hates being sad. She hates being gloomy as gloom as the weather today. No sun for the whole day and she just spent her day on her bed watching videos on you tube.

Just one question in her read right now, will 'they' survive?

Enuff said... :(

Friday, 9 May 2008

Spring is here~

Waaahhh...haven't write for quite a long time... even i'm not a good writer or a good story teller, but still i miss writing in this comes my first entry for this month...

Lots had happened since my last entry.. not going to write everything here though.. huhu...

Anyway, the weather here is getting better and better everyday - as in warmer and sunnier; which resulted in a happier me! (My mood is affected by the weather) ...hehe...I bought some flowering plants from Dobbies and planted them on my balcony.

Yesterday, K Linda and I went for a stroll along the Union Canal , 5 minutes walking distance from our flat, and jakun2 there for a while.

This afternoon, we went to Silverknowes Beach here in Edinburgh - 25 minutes by bus from the city centre. We were very excited after sgt lame terperuk dekat rumah all these while during autumn and winter... So, again we were very jakun and i can't stop myself from posing & menggedik2 dpn kamera di laut...huhuhu...

Hurm....I don't really know why..but suddenly, I've lost my mood to fingers meet keyboard again...later... hoho

Saturday, 19 April 2008

3 paragraphs...ok..?!?!..huhuhu

I stared at the screen of my laptop, thinking of something to post on my blog. I was blanked. Nothing really came into my mind. I stared again...and again...and again...Still, I was blanked.

I took a look at the first page of my blog. Most of the recent posts were on sad thoughts, emotional stuff, hatred, and feeling down. Yup, there were few on happy thoughts and happy moments, but I never thought I am this pathetic...huhuhu

So, now, I'm typing this, thinking to myself, that even if my mind still blank, I already have 3 paragraphs for this post. And i'm also currently thinking, that I should stop writing and publish this post even I didn't say anything in particular..hohoho...Again, at least, I have 3 paragraphs (Igt senang ke?..hehe)..

Enuff said.. :D

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Memoirs of a musical box...

"Please play a piece of the piano for me" - written on top of the musical box


I remember when I was 13 years old, when I first started my life away from home (away la sangat bile sekolah less than 1 km je dr rumah and I can even see my house’s rooftop from my classroom) – tp still boarding school eh, and can only balik rumah once in a fortnight.

Anyway, on one weekend when we were allowed to balik bermalam for the first or 2nd time after the orientation week, I went to a photo shop with my mom to take a picture of me – passport size for all those uncountable forms that should be filled in. It was a small shop in Tmn Bukit Maluri (it’s still there), and other than picture frames and photo albums, they sold musical boxes as well – with different designs and melodies.

While my mom was paying for my passport size photos, I took a look at those musical boxes and heard each of their melodies and I was very captivated by a piano-shape musical box and its melodies – which had also been played by a piano. The price was around RM30-40 which for me that time, was quite expensive to be given to a 13 yr old girl whom might not take a good care of it.

I asked my mom for the musical box, and she said, it was expensive and she did not have enough money that time. I was a bit disappointed, but there was nothing I can do as I had no money myself. If I’m not mistaken, that was on Saturday, so on the next day, my parents sent me back to the hostel.

The following weekend, my mom came to visit me in hostel. And like the usual happy ending stories, - she bought me the musical box. I can’t remember exactly what happened that day, but I remember, I waited for my mom to come, then she gave me a box. I was very happy as I opened the box knowing that it was the piano inside it and played it a few times before I kept it back in its box.

And since then, I took it with me everywhere (not everywhere as in I put it in my bag or in my pocket everywhere I went but to new places like when I entered matriculation and first degree). And now, after more than 11 years, it still stands tall (short is more like it) in front of me on my study desk here in Scotland.

I love the musical box so much, and I love my mom even more (infinity times more than I love the musical box…huhu).

Sunday, 13 April 2008

~Emo 3~

I think by now, everyone knows that I'm a very very very emotional person. I tried, honestly, I really did try not to let myself be controlled by emotion. But again, for the umpteenth times, I failed.

I tried to ignore their presence. I tried to act as if they were not there. But i feel they are everywhere. And whenever I tried to have a good time, they are there!!

Can't they just...GONE??

Thursday, 10 April 2008

~ Emo 2 ~

"Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat." ~Henry Emerson Fosdick


Kite benci dia..

Kite tau, 'benci' tu macam sangat tidak patut dan mungkin kite 'tak suke' je.

Tapi, sekarang ni, mmg kite susah nak bezekan antare 'benci' & 'tak suke'. jadi, sebab perasaan yang kite rase ni, sangat-sangat kuat, kite simpulkan yang kite benci la dia. Best tak kesimpulan yang kite buat? heee

Kite tak pernah sangke akan jumpe orang macam tu dalam dunia. Selame ni kite pikir, kite orang yang paling teruk. Kalau nak tau betape teruknye kite mendescribekan diri kite sendiri, silalah lawati friendster kite & tengok dekat part 'about me'. Macam tu la teruknye kite rase kite ni.

Tapi, betullah kate org, jauh perjalanan, luas pengalaman. Dan daripada perjalanan berjalan jauh ni, kite dapat jumpe bermacam-macam jenis orang. Dan buat julung-julung kalinye, kite sangat bangge, sebab akhirnye kite tahu, kite bukanle orang paling teruk yang wujud dalam dunia ni.

Betul, kite memang ade kelemahan banyak sangat, dan orang yang kite benci tu pun, ade kelemahan dan kebaikan dia jugak. Tapi kite memang cube supaye kelemahan diri yang kite ade, tak menyusahkan orang lain sampai boleh diungkit-ungkit. Biarlah keburukan yang kite ade, kite sendiri je yang susah dan tak libatkan orang lain.

Tapi kite tau, kite ade jugak selalu menyusahkan orang lain. Dan kite cube jugak untuk menebus bende tu dengan cube membuat ape yg kite boleh buat supaye orang yang kite susahkan tu dapat jugak merase senang dengan ape yang kite dah buat.

Tapi orang yang kite benci tu tak macam tu. Bagi dia, baik dia pikir tentang hal dia sendiri daripada pikir masalah remeh temeh dengan orang lain. itu bagi dia la..

Kite kalau ikutkan tak kisah dengan pemikiran macam tu. ye lar, pasal nanti mati pun kubur lain2, sorang-sorang je. Kalau ikutkan hati semua orang pun, kite rase, sape la larat nak menjage hati orang sangat. kalau boleh semua orang nak jadi selfish. Ape2 yang dibuat, yang ade, untuk diri sendiri je, bukan untuk orang lain yang takde kene mengene.

Tapi, kite tau, kite tak leh buat macam tu. Sebab kite hidup dalam satu masyarakat.Kita hidup dikelilingi manusia lain. Kite bukan hidup sorang-sorang. Jadi, tak kisah la ape keburukan dan kelemahan kite, tanggungjawab kite untuk orang sekeliling kite yang hidup dekat sangat dengan kite, mesti la kite kene laksanekan.

Tapi lagi, tak semua orang faham tu. Kite nak bagi tau orang itu, kite rase, die dah besar & sepatutnye faham la tentang konsep hidup dengan manusia lain. Kite nak bagi tau dia dan bagi contoh untuk fahamkan dia, nanti die kate kite ungkit. Jadi kite kenela diam kan aje dan bile dah lame-lame diam, mule la kite rase makin benci, kite makin emo, kite carik kawan2 satu kepale dan cakap pasal die (mengumpat le tu) dan akhirnye, kite tambahkan dose kat diri kite sendiri. Die best je hidup tanpe pedulikkan orang, kite yang pening pikir pasal dia.

Benci betul perasaan yang kite ade sekarang. Kite rase dia sesuai duduk dalam hutan supaye dia tak payah jage hati orang sekeliling. Itu pun kalau binatang tak de perasaan jugak la.

Dah le. Bertambah emo kite nanti. Dah la kite ponteng pegi zoo hari ni. Ape-ape la kite ni.Malas sungguh. huhu. Ape pun...satu bende kite tabik toing toing kat dia.. DIA PANDAI BERLAKON.. kite jeles sbb kite nak pandai berlakon jugak...huhuhu

Merepek la kite ni..hurm...

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Coco Crunch

Zoey : Boss... tuuu

Boss : Ape?! Jangan nak dalih2 lagi la...

Zoey : Tu haaa...

Boss : Ape?! Engkau ni ha?!

Zoey : Tu ha.. Coco Crunch tu..

Boss : Coco Crunch ape??..

Zoey : Staring me in the face..

Boss : (Baru faham) Coco Crunch! (Mengambil kain pelekat dan menutup coco crunch nye)

Zoey : (Gelak)

Boss : Ha..gelak..gelak..gelak.. Aku coco crunch kan kepale ko kang baru ko tau...


Tak tahan menonton Sindarela...adoiii... Never thought to refer that 'thing' as coco crunch.

Dapat vocab baru ni..huhuhu

Ni je entry kali ni...hihihi

Later! =)

Thursday, 3 April 2008

Letter for Nadot...

Dear Nadot,

It's been 7 months since you left Malaysia but I know you feel like it was only yesterday you arrived in Edinburgh Airport. You used to say that you couldn't make it there. You will miss your family so much that you can't concentrate. You won't get good friends that will understand you like you have in Malaysia. You will feel lonely without AWAK by your side and you'll be in tears all day that you think you might become thin.

But all things happened the other way round. You still miss your family, but you were able to concentrate and Alhamdulillah, you've passed all your papers. Yes, you met few selfish people, but still, you have a group of very good friends that understand you and accept you just the way you are. You still get lonely now and then without AWAK by your side, but you guys text each other everyday and you know that he'll be waiting for you and you'll be waiting for him too. And yes, you cried sometimes when you were feeling down, but you're not getting any thinner! In fact you've gained a few more kg! I'm very proud of you Nadot! I really am! =)

Within this 5 months, there are few things that you need to do and accomplished. First and the most important, is to focus on your dissertation. I know you have trouble focusing or concentrating on anything, and you have trouble waking up early in the morning, and you're also as lazy as Garfield, but, for the sake of your family, your sponsor, and yourself, do make sure that you try your best in doing your project and try to submit it early of August. Search for more journals, start writing the intro, method and literature review. Try not to do things last minute as you always did. Just believe in yourself, pray to God, and InsyaAllah, everything will turn out okay.

Secondly, cherish your friends around you. You might not see each other anymore once they are back in Malaysia and even if you still see or contact each other, you know that it won't be the same. They will have their own life and so will you. Therefore, do cherish every moment while you are here. Stop being emotional or childish and just enjoy your life there. You won't get to do some of the things you did there once you're back in Malaysia.

Next, improve your cooking skill while you are there. Yes, I know you have turned to be quite a good cook. But keep learning. Try new recipes, help K Linda in the kitchen more often, and if server is down, there are still loads of website with great recipes.

Finally, please stop shopping too much. Why the hell do you need to buy new clothes every week? Your wardrobe looks like its going to collapse soon. You don't have enough space to keep all your clothes and you don't even wear all the things you've bought. Same goes with your novels. You keep buying new books even when you haven't finished reading those you had bought previously. And please stop visiting and everyday. You are not strong enough to resist the temptation those websites have. You keep buying stuffs that you know you will rarely or never use. Please don't answer back when I'm talking to you. ok? I'm getting a migraine just thinking how you are going to bring all your stuffs back to Malaysia.

Okay, okay. I'll stop here I guess. There are still loads of things I should have written here, but Diari AF6 Episode 25 and 26 are calling me to watch them. So, till fingers meet keyboard again..hihi. Do take care ok!.. Later!

Yours truly,

Si Comel yang baik... =)

Sunday, 30 March 2008

That smell...

"Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains." -Diane Ackerman


It always amazes me, how a simple smell could rush all the memories back into my head. All the bitter sweet memories. Some which I've always remember and some that I've tried hard to forget and finally managed to do so.

That smell. It triggered something inside of me that had long been forgotten. Something that made me happy and sad at the same time.

I love that smell. =)

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Her story - Part 2

"Happiness pulses with every beat of my heart".  ~Emily Logan Decens

She was happy tonight. Very happy. She talked on the phone with her beloved sister, mother and her special someone. She just couldn't stop singing after all those phone calls she made. "Love is in the air", she said. She smiled, she laughed. She felt like as if she was flying. She couldn't concentrate on her works. Loads of works. She was very happy. And again, she didn't understand why. She was really sad yesterday, and she was very happy today. She felt silly for her easily-changing-moods. Hahaha. She laughed again. And smiled.

And she's still smiling.... =)

Saturday, 22 March 2008

Her story ....

"We were talking about the space between us all and the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion. Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late when they pass away" - George Harrison


She was sad and depressed the whole day. Her friends managed to make her forget her sadness for a while. So, she laughed, she sang. She looked happy. She felt a bit happy too. But sometimes, she overreacted and became overly childish. And when she realized she was overreacted, she felt sad again; blaming herself for being so childish and immature. She didn't quite know what was wrong with her today.

After her friends went back home, she absorbed herself in her story book world. Imagining herself as Jasmin Field and lived in her cynical/idealistic world. She just loved to do that sometimes. Hiding from the bitterness of the reality by envisioning herself as one of the characters of her uncountable novels.

She felt hungry. She get off her bed, marking the page where she last read with a University-of-Oxford bookmark and left it on her desk. She ate with her beloved housemate, chatting and gossiping happily, finished her late night supper and went back to her room - her haven, her shelter, her asylum, her sanctuary.

She then sat for a while in front of her laptop and chatted with some friends. She asked a friend whom she was chatting with to give her a piece of advice about anything as she thought it might lift her spirit up or enlighten her mood or just ..just..hhmmm... She didn't really know why she needed the advice for. Anyway, her friend (maybe aware or maybe unaware of her being 'down') just told her 'Live life happily, and don't be sad'. With only that one simple sentence, she burst into tears. And again, for the umpteenth times that day, she felt lost and didn't understand what went wrong with herself.

So, she decided to hide again. Absorbing herself in her new character, Jasmin Field from the novel Acting Up, she loss herself once again...

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Letter for AWAK....hihihi

Pada yg jijik, sila jangan bace. I'm usually not the kind of person who sangat poyo meluahkan isi hati n perut secare public.. (kawan2 aku, korg tau kan aku mcm ne..huhu)

Tapi this time, i just feel like writing/typing something for Awak because I didn't get to talk to him today and simply because i miss him...hohoho...

Dah rase geli?...blah..blah...blah....hohoho


Hi Awak...

How was your day? I didn't get a chance to talk to you today and sorry for not replying your sms earlier. And when I did reply, you were already asleep.

Anyway, It's 12 am in the morning. Just done watching Sindarela with K Linda and in 5 minutes, we're going to have a late supper (makan nasik consider supper bley wak?..hihi)...

I miss u so much today... (heeee..i'm blushing...hohoho...jgn berharap ye wak...awak mmg tau sy tak blushing bile malu..hohoho).. But seriously, I mish u so much...huhu..

Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for your supports. Thank you for being very understanding. Thank you for just being there. Thank you for putting up with me (again, I know, it's very very hard). And finally, thank you for loving me. =)

I never thought I could survive this long distance relationship. I always thought i'll be the one who surrender and give up this relationship (you know la i'm very the ngade-ngade kan..huhu). But because of your patience (wat donno bile sy marah) and love, Alhamdulillah, we are still standing strong just like 3 years ago when we started being together. In fact, I believe we are much stronger now and hopefully, will become stronger with each day to come.

Alamak Awak.. Saya dah ngantuk la plak. There are still loads of things to say, but i'll save it when I call you later k. All the mushy2 stuffs pun, saye cakap dalam phone k. Nanti diorg bace, segan la saye...hilang la kemachoan sy..hahahahahaha...

Ape pun, I'm very very lucky to have you by my side (but not as lucky as you yang dapat saye yg best ni... hahahahha..sian awak ek dpt bersimpati..hohohoho..). I WEV U!!...huhuhu

Papai!!! =)

p/s: Kalau kite gaduh ke, saye delete la post ni..and hopefully nobody will ever remember that I'd posted this before. hoohoho...

Saturday, 15 March 2008

How to read my blog?

Ways to read my blog:-

  • Ignore all the grammar mistakes

  • Ignore all the spelling mistakes

  • Ignore all the inappropriate/unsuitable vocabs

  • Ignore all the bad words

  • Just don't ignore me!..hohoho

Enuff said!! =)


Aku mcm bosan. So, nak merepek menceritekan dengan ringkas psl hari ni..huhu

Hari ini bermula dengan......


10 am - woke up.. surfed the internet..

11 am - tried making the puding jagung for the 2nd time..

2.10 pm - went down to kedai cina, nina's supermarket, Razwan, and ScotMid - bought evaporated milk, custards, toilet rolls etc..

2.50 pm - kept all the stuffs bought at home, went back down and waited for leman n cidud at the bus stop

3.05 pm - walked to uncle T, called AWAK on the way, had a cup of cappuccino, watched them makan2 x igt org..hihi, read the newspaper.

4.15 pm - walked back home.

4.30 pm - arrived home. tried making the puding jagung for the 3rd time!arghh... watched you tube. watched leman n cidud watching you tube. they ate my 1st and 2nd trial of puding jagung. Baity n Makju arrived home.

5.30 pm - Waited for Cidud doing his thing in the toilet. He blamed our flush toilet for not flushing all his faeces down the drain pipe until the 3rd trial (tp kitorg tau, sbb byk gile n penuh toilet bowl tu dia buang...huhu)

6.30 pm - Arrived at Abg Khai house. They served nasi lemak, spaghetti bolognese, roasted chicken cooked by Kak Aida. Sedaaaaaaaaapppppp...hihihi. Watched Buletin Utama (gile lame tak tengok since blah dr msia).

9.23 pm - Went to tesco - bought more custards. Arrived home, tried making the puding jagung for the 4th time.

10.30 pm - Jal and Elly arrived. The puding turned out okay at last! Yeay.. !!

11 pm - After four trials of making the puding, we started buat yg serius punye. 2 kali masak in a big periuk. huhu.

1.15 am - Habis masak. Baity, Jal n Elly still struggling with the kuih keria. Masuk bilik and started to write this blog.

1.50 am - I am now writing this third-last-sentence and im going to bed. Good night! Later peeps...!..hohohoho